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Authors: Simpsons Quotes - Funny Homer Simpson Quotes Sayings
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I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for TEN MINUTES.
Homer Simpson
Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love!
Homer Simpson
Unfortunately, son, we Simpsons sometimes have to bend the rules a little in order to hold our own.
Homer Simpson
Dear Lord: The gods have been good to me. For the first time in my life, everything is absolutely perfect just the way it is. So here's the deal: You freeze everything the way it is, and I won't ask for anything more. If that is OK, please give me absolutely no sign. OK, deal. In gratitude, I present you this offering of cookies and milk. If you want me to eat them for you, give me no sign. Thy will be done.
Homer Simpson
The strong must protect the sweet.
Homer Simpson
Ah, sweet pity. Where would my love life have been without it?
Homer Simpson
Son, a woman is like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you'd step over your own mother just to get one! But you can't stop at one. You wanna drink another woman!
Homer Simpson
Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen.
Homer Simpson
Remember as far as anyone knows, we're a nice normal family.
Homer Simpson
I know what you're saying, Bart. When I was young, I wanted an electric football machine more than anything else in the world, and my parents bought it for me, and it was the happiest day of my life. Well, goodnight.
Homer Simpson
Your lives are in the hands of men no smarter than you or I, many of them incompetent boobs. I know this because I worked alongside them, gone bowling with them, watched them pass me over for promotions time and again. And I say... This stinks!
Homer Simpson
D'oh!!!
Homer Simpson
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Homer Simpson: Character from The Simpsons TV show, created by American Cartoonist Matt Groening, born 1954.


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